November is being celebrated as men’s health awareness month globally.
If you are a man reading this, I urge you to prioritise your mental health. And if you are a woman, be an influencer to the men in your life so they can walk in your footsteps of self-compassion and nurturing.
Men — The role of men has always been that of the protector. They are expected to be brave in every situation to meet societal standards. This fuels some very dangerous myths like:
Their purpose and self-worth in life have often been set by their net worth and achievements. In many of my coaching clients, I have witnessed that they do not consider themselves successful unless they are constantly chasing something — for most, it is money, career success, or a significant partner. When they fail to achieve this, they tend to feel like a failure.
They are conditioned to deny their emotions with the common misconception that emotions make them weak. The fact is — emotions are part of our subtle body. They exist as predominantly as the air we breathe in. They are energy in motion.
When we deny or suppress emotions, it leads to dis-ease in the body and creates total imbalance in relationships with those around us. How can one truly enjoy professional success when the two biggest pillars — health and relationships — are compromised?
Even in this age of information, most men tend to suppress their emotions due to fear of ridicule — not from strangers but from loved ones, parents, peers, friends, and colleagues. Bottling up emotions has proven to be deeply damaging.
This denial of emotions leads men into the trap of addictions of all sorts — gambling, alcohol, narcotics, even tobacco. These become easy escapes and can spiral into crime, self-sabotage, and shame, further harming their physical and mental health.
In today’s world driven by advertising and social media, men too can face body image issues. Many struggle with how they look and whether they’ll be perceived well by others. For some, this becomes a real source of trauma, feeding an old childhood fear — “I’m not good enough.”
Let’s take two strong emotions — anger and fear. When you encounter a triggering situation or conflict, your primal brain — fight, flight, or freeze — gets activated. Yes, as a man you can feel fear. It’s a fundamental emotion. When fear arises, it often translates into anger — “before they attack me, let me attack them.” And before you realise it, you’re in the middle of conflict, often hurting loved ones — especially women and children.
Angry feelings manifest physically: tightness in the jaw, pounding heart, increased pulse, clenched fists, frowning, trembling, or wanting to hit or throw things. Observe where you feel it in your body. Name the emotion — instead of saying “I am angry,” say “this is anger.” Emotions are normal and natural.
Since emotions are energy in motion, they always pass. Research indicates a fit of rage lasts about ninety seconds. Step away from situations or people you might hurt. Breathe deeply. Journal about your emotions. If anger comes often, pick a sport to release it constructively.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that those who practise yoga, meditation, and mantra chanting manage emotions more effectively.
Men are an essential part of building organisations, families, and societies. They are our front liners. Their mental and emotional well-being deeply affects the quality of our collective society.
(The views expressed here are based on my observations of working with men over the past few years. They are in no way stereotypical.)
